"I will be with you always".
It was the day after Mother’s Day and I went to school excited. I was looking for Chris! My boyfriend and I had just broken up and I knew exactly who was going to help me get over him....Chris and I started “talking” around October of 2004 but stopped because I had a boyfriend and he didn’t want to be disrespectful. Chris was a football player and I was a cheerleader so we saw each other often. But eventually he told me "when you and the bul break up you know where to find me".
I was heavily involved in the church as a child. I sang in the choir, was on the praise dance ministry and was also a junior usher. I loved the Lord, but of course living a life of purity was super difficult. One day while at a joy night I had an encounter with the Holy Spirit that I will never forget. And I repented and told the Lord to send me someone who was FOR ME! Someone who loved Him just as much as I did and who I could live life with. Now let me explain something to y’all, I was 15 years old, asking the Lord to essentially send me my husband!
Ok so back to the Monday after Mother’s Day.....I was looking for Chris and for some reason I couldn’t find him. He was ALWAYS roaming the halls so I though that was odd....for a few days I just didn’t see him and I was like ok...I guess it’s just meant for me to focus on my school work. Eventually we saw each other. We talked and I told him that I was single. We started dating and well y’all know the rest lol!
The thing I wanted to bring out of this story was that the Holy Spirit will always lead and direct you! He never told me that Chris was going to be my husband but I prayed for someone for ME and He told CHRIS that I was going to be his wife. In my mind I was just going to school to talk to this boy who I knew liked me. I didn’t know that the Lord already told him that I was supposed to be his wife. Which was why he was avoiding me when I initially was trying to find him. He told me that he was avoiding me because he knew that once we got together that was it.
Many of us do the same thing with the Lord. We know that the Lord told us to do something but we are like, ok Lord wait one sec and let me do this real quick and I’ll be right there...But the Lord is so patient and He’s a gentleman. He doesn’t FORCE us to do anything.
The moral of the story is, although we make our own decisions and fall SHORT of His glory, the Lord continues to lead and guide us. He takes us down a path that we many times don’t understand.
Since Dec 11th, 2019 I have so many questions! I relive that day in my mind several days a week. It wasn’t until recently that I actually realized that this is the EXACT life that He had for me. I was meant to be in the EXACT position that I am in right now. This season has been really tough, but he has NEVER left me. If I would have known that this was the plan for my life when I was 15 years old, I definitely wouldn’t have gone to school looking for Chris that day. But then I realized that Chris was being obedient to what the Lord had also told Him. I asked the Lord for the person that was best for me, and He revealed to Chris that I was the one for him.
Our origin story may be a little different than a lot of people’s but we had the same ride as everyone else. Some good days, some bad days. Arguments, disagreements. But we put the work in, because we felt it was worth it 💙 My purpose has never changed. I was always meant to use my testimony of being a bride at 21 and navigating a relationship that I was in since I was a teenager. We literally grew into adulthood together and had to learn each other all over again many times. Now I have yet another thing to be able to minster to people about. Being a young widow after almost 10 years of marriage and raising a child that your husband never got a chance to meet is tough. Realizing that the Lord literally created me to endure this specific circumstance gives me even more confidence that He will be with me through every step of the way!