
Many times, things happen in life that make us feel powerless. When I am blindsided by things in life, I have a hard time recovering. I get discouraged, and my expectations for things dwindle. There have been many instances in my life where things have happened out of my control, so it has resulted in me developing a very much “go with the flow” attitude. I set loose plans and have very minimal expectations for people so that if things don’t work out the way that I planned, it lessens the blow. Recently, I realized that I was operating from a place of fear. Disappointment is disappointment, whether you have a plan or not; the emotions of what it feels like to be disappointed will happen either way.
It is time for us to evaluate those areas in our lives where we have relinquished power and take it back! For me, inconsistencies in my relationship with my mother as a child was the beginning of losing power. You would be surprised, but even with pure intentions, telling a child that you will do something and then you don’t will cause them to feel uneasy and doubtful throughout life. Although many times I would be able to recognize and logically understand why the things she told me would happen didn’t, that still didn’t change the impact it had on me emotionally. It developed a core belief where I felt if the person who birthed me had the ability to let me down, then everyone else will do it too.
That actually began to translate into my relationship with God as well. Many times, we hold God to the standards of our natural parents. And although my father is consistent and has never impacted my view or my expectations of God, mothers hold a different weight in the life of children because we have literally been a part of them since they were inside of their own mothers. As I went throughout life, there were many other times that I felt powerless and slowly began to diminish my power bank. When I think of power, I automatically think about electronics. Now, those close to me know that my electronics are rarely fully charged. In fact, my phone typically dies 4-5 times a week. Much like my ability to charge my electronics, I noticed that I had been doing a bad job at recharging my faith and hope. I am a believer, and those of y'all who know me know that Jesus is legit my bestie! But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t areas of doubt or insecurity. What I realized was that I was allowing him to fill me in certain areas but not in others. When my husband Chris died, I allowed the Lord to heal my heart when it came to grief, disappointment, trauma, and even love. What I did not do was allow him to heal the areas of brokenness that I had that made me feel like I was incapable of who he called me to be. Some people can relate when it comes to this. We are so distracted sometimes by the “big things” in life that make us feel powerless that other areas that are just as important go missed!

So this is what I’ve decided: the areas of brokenness that remained, I asked the Lord to heal them. I asked the Lord to not only allow me to walk in boldness but to believe in the bold woman of God he called me to be. No more overthinking! No more feeling unworthy! No more doubting that it is possible! I’m taking my power back! All I could think of was the Tye Tribbett song “I Want It All Back”! Listen to that song and see how it empowers you to get your power back! Get your fight back! It’s not an easy journey of surrendering and healing. In fact, I was “on the run” for a long time after the Lord revealed to me his plan for my life. But at the end of the day, I am going to do what he told me to do and be who he called me to be! My prayer for you is that you begin to reflect and dig deep. What are areas that you feel powerless in, and when did you lose power? What are areas that your battery is running low in? Maybe your phone still has some power, but it’s only about 17%. The anxiety about how long you have before it actually dies is unnecessary and could be solved by simply plugging your phone into a power source. I encourage you to plug in and get recharged! It’s time to operate fully charged!!!
Comments