As I was on a coaching session with one of my mentors who is now a remarried widow, I told her that I was ready for the next chapter of my life. I told her that I was ready to be in a relationship. As we spoke about how I was ready to date, I looked into my zoom camera and saw all of the pictures of me and Chris in my camera. I thought to myself "how can you be ready to start dating and you still have all of these photos of Chris on the wall?"
"Are you truly ready to move forward?" After that moment, I reflected a bit and decided that it was time to remove the romantic photos of him and I from my photo wall. The first step on my "moving forward" journey was taking my wedding ring off in April. I then began wearing both of our rings around my neck. Initially, I wore it everyday. If I left the house and realized that I forgot to put my necklace on, I would turn around and come home for it. More recently, I continue on with my day and am ok if I don't have it on. The step of removing the photos from the wall was not as hard as I thought it would be. A few weeks ago it crossed my mind as I was contemplating male company (which is a WHOLE OTHER BLOG POST). Long story short, I relaized that I won't feel comforable having another man in the house that I once shared with Chris. So for now, public dates it is!
I made the decision to leave the maternity photos of Chris and I on my wall so that Blue continues to see photos of him. I am sure that this dating journey will be full of emotions and reflection. I also realize that I have been spoiled for years. I don't enjoy cooking, he never made me clean and he even did the laundry. Honestly my phone still dies from time to time becuase he was the perosn who charged my phone every night (luckily Blue is responsible and charges it for me lol). I am still deciding how transparent I will get with these dating chronicles and if they will be in written or spoken form. One things about me, is that I will make a video about anything! Maybe it will be a series that I release because there are really some things that I would like to address as it relates to celibacy because your girl and all of my unmarried friends are STRUGGLING. I need the saints to give us some pointers on how to be successful on this journey becuase we all would like to know! But again, thats another conversation for another time. For now, I wanted to share this huge milestone with you all as I continue to travel through this journey.