Thanksgiving is usually a day that Chris and I house hop all day. We travel between family and friend's houses. In 2010 I had just graduated from nursing school and was renting an a
partment in South Philly not too far from Chris's house. We spent the entire day together at my aunt's house with my family. When we got back to his dad's house we had an argument (about something silly I'm sure) and I told him I was ready to go home. I lived within walking distance but it was already after midnight. He turned to me and asked "do you love me?" I replied "NO!" (because I'm petty and was still mad about whatever we were arguing about). He then repeated himself, "you love me?" rolling my eyes I replied, "nope walk me home". He then pulled a ring out of his sock and told me that he was carrying it around with him all day trying to figure out the perfect time to ask me to marry him. He said, "you love me right" I said "yeah but you get on my nerves" (I'M SOOOOO PETTY). Then he asked, "will you marry me?" (Side note: I had been hounding him for months about proposing to me. So mich so that he told me that he had already gotten the ring but since I was nagging him I would have to wait.) After he asked me, I immediately started laughing and could not stop. To the point that after a while he stopped me and said "no for real, will you?" I said yes and then placed the somewhat too large ring on my finger. He was so excited that he had to show me the band as well because he was so proud that he had chosen a ring that he thought I would love! He was right! It was perfect!
So every year I think of the Thanksgiving that he carried my ring around all day in his sock because he was too nervous to propose in front of my family. We had been dating for about 6 years before he proposed so he knew my family very well, but he wanted to wait until we were alone so that we could share that moment together. This year is the first year that I am spending without him and what makes matters worse is that we are in the midst of a global pandemic. Although I would probably want this year to be low key anyway, (becuase we have an infant) the thought of isolation during this upcoming holiday season fills me with much sadness. Although there is nothing that anyone could say or do to make me feel better, it would be nice to be able to surround myself with loved ones to help distract me from the void that I feel every day that I wake up.