From Birthing Purpose to Love After Marriage: The Journey I Never Saw Coming

One year ago, I released my first book, Birthing Purpose. At the time, I thought I was writing a book about grief, healing, faith, and finding purpose after devastating loss. I thought I was sharing the story of a young widow who was seven months pregnant when her husband unexpectedly passed away. I thought I was documenting the lessons God taught me while learning to navigate motherhood, ministry, and life after everything I had planned suddenly changed. What I didn’t realize was that God was using that season to prepare me for a chapter I wasn’t yet brave enough to imagine.

As I celebrate the first anniversary of Birthing Purpose, I've been doing a lot of reflecting, not just on the past year but also on the incredible journey that God has taken me on. It’s been a year filled with unexpected twists and turns, moments of joy, and challenges that have really tested my faith and resilience. One of the most surprising things about this journey is how it has led me to write this 30 Day Devotional: Love After Marriage. This isn’t just a collection of thoughts; it’s a heartfelt exploration of the complexities of love, loss, and the hope that can rise from the ashes of heartbreak. I always dreamed of love and marriage again, but there was a time when I felt a creeping sense of hopelessness during my dating experiences.I felt like my journey was too complicated to invite anyone in, and the fear of loving someone only for it to possibly end again was a thought that was too much to bear.I started to wonder if I should just cherish the love I once had and create a life without the hope of becoming a wife again.

Not that I wasn’t meeting great people along the way; it was just that, for various reasons, none of them seemed to have the qualities I needed to envision building a meaningful life together.

If you had told me years ago that I would write a devotional about loving again, I probably would have laughed—or cried, overwhelmed by the thought of such a future. When you’ve faced a loss that changes your life’s direction, the idea of opening your heart again can feel not just unlikely but also pretty daunting. Those scars from past experiences can create a protective barrier, making it tough to trust again or believe that love could blossom in your life once more. Even if you’re out there dating—meeting new people, chatting, and sharing moments—there might still be a part of you that doubts whether genuine love is really possible. This internal struggle can lead to a rollercoaster of hope and despair, where moments of excitement are often shadowed by the fear of potential heartbreak.

In this devotional, I dive into the intricacies of navigating love after loss. I share insights and reflections that have come from my own experiences. Each day will bring a new perspective, a fresh reminder of the beauty that can come from being vulnerable, and the strength we can find in our faith. As we turn the pages of this book together, my hope is to inspire anyone who might feel lost or hesitant about embracing love again. Together, we’ll discover the healing power of love, the importance of self-compassion, and the incredible grace that God offers us as we embark on this journey of rediscovery. Through prayer, reflection, and shared experiences, we’ll learn to open our hearts once more and trust in the possibility of a love that is not just fulfilling but truly transformative.

The Purpose of the Process

When I began writing Birthing Purpose, I was still processing so much of my own journey. The years following my husband’s death were filled with questions I couldn’t answer and burdens I never expected to carry. I was raising a child who would never meet her father. I was grieving the future we had planned. I was learning how to show up for everyone else while trying to figure out how to heal myself. Yet through every painful season, God kept reminding me that purpose could still be born from pain. Not because the pain wasn’t real. Not because the loss didn’t matter. But because God specializes in bringing life out of places that appear barren. What I know now is that Birthing Purpose wasn’t simply about surviving grief. It was about allowing God to transform me through it. It was about BECOMING. Becoming stronger. Becoming wiser. Becoming more dependent on Him. Becoming the woman He was calling me to be.

For a long time, I thought healing was the goal. I thought if I could just heal, I would finally arrive at some destination where everything made sense. But healing isn’t a finish line. It’s a journey. And what I’ve learned is that healing doesn’t simply restore what was broken—it creates space for what God wants to build next. For many widows, healing is often viewed as the final chapter. People celebrate when you’re smiling again. When you’re functioning again. When you’re carrying your responsibilities well. But what happens when God begins calling you to more than survival? What happens when He invites you to dream again? To hope again? To trust again? To love again? That’s where the real courage begins.

The Courage to Love Again

One of the greatest misconceptions about widowhood is that once enough time passes, loving again becomes easy. It doesn’t. Loving after loss requires an entirely different kind of courage. It requires you to open your heart knowing firsthand that loss is possible. It requires you to trust God with places that have already been broken. It requires you to navigate guilt, fear, uncertainty, and sometimes the opinions of people who don’t fully understand your journey. As a widow, a mother, and a woman in ministry, I have discovered that loving again is rarely a simple decision. It often comes with layers. There is excitement. There is gratitude. There is hope. But there can also be fear. Fear of being hurt. Fear of disappointment. Fear of moving forward. Fear of what people might think. Fear of whether your heart can truly handle it. And for me, the fear that my daughter will also get her heart broken if things don't work out. Yet I’ve learned that fear should never have the final say. Because the same God who carried me through grief is the God who continues to guide me into new beginnings.

As I reflected on the past year, I realized that Love After Marriage is not separate from Birthing Purpose. It is the continuation of the story. The book explores how God births purpose from pain. The devotional invites God into a very delicate and sometimes intimidating journey. It explores how He restores hope after loss. The book teaches us how to survive. The devotional teaches us how to live again. One documents the rebuilding. The other explores what happens after the rebuilding begins to bear fruit. Love After Marriage isn’t simply a devotional for women who are dating. It guides you along the journey of navigating very real experiences and emotions associated with love after being married before. It fosters trust in God. It fosters further healing. It grows your faith. It helps you unpack things associated with the journey that you did not expect. Releasing fear and embracing the possibility that God still have beautiful things ahead is the goal. It’s about honoring the past without becoming trapped by it. Most importantly, it’s about believing that our story doesn’t end with heartbreak.

One Year Later

As I celebrate one year of Birthing Purpose, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Grateful for every reader who trusted me with their own story. Grateful for every message from someone who felt less alone. Grateful for every reminder that God can redeem what seems impossible. This past year has taught me that purpose doesn’t erase pain. Healing doesn’t erase grief. And moving forward doesn’t mean leaving the past behind. It means carrying what God has taught you into the next season with faith. Today, I stand as a witness that God is still writing my story. The woman who wrote Birthing Purpose was learning how to survive. The woman preparing to release Love After Marriage is learning how to trust God with joy again. And both women are evidence of His faithfulness. One year ago, I released a book with the testimony that God could bring purpose from pain. Now, I am preparing to release a devotional knowing that He can also bring love from places we thought would remain empty forever. The story isn’t changing. It’s simply continuing. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this:

God is never finished writing the story.

Pray with me

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for being the Author and Finisher of our faith, and for reminding us that no chapter of our lives is wasted in Your hands. Today, I thank You for every lesson, every tear, every prayer, every moment of healing, and every step that brought me to this place. Thank You for the seasons when I couldn’t see the purpose in my pain, yet You were quietly working behind the scenes, strengthening me, refining me, and preparing me for what was ahead.

Lord, for those who are reading this and still walking through grief, disappointment, loss, divorce, heartbreak, or unanswered questions, remind them that their story is not over. Help them to believe that You are still present in the waiting, still faithful in the uncertainty, and still working even when they cannot see it. Heal the places in their hearts that are weary. Restore hope where hope has been lost. Replace fear with faith, doubt with trust, and despair with expectation. Father, teach us how to honor our past without becoming trapped by it. Give us the courage to release what was, so we can embrace what You are doing now. Help us trust that moving forward is not betrayal, but evidence of Your healing work within us. For those longing for love, companionship, or a new beginning, remind them that they do not need to strive, chase, or force what You have already ordained. Teach them to rest in Your timing, knowing that what You have for them will arrive in the right season and in the right way. May we never become so attached to the chapter we are in that we miss the beauty of the one You are writing next. Thank You for birthing purpose from pain. Thank You for bringing beauty from ashes. Thank You for proving that healing and hope can coexist. And thank You that no matter what we have experienced, You are still writing the story. We trust You with the pages behind us, the page we are living today, and every page yet to come.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.